Science update ! New element discovered!
Recent electrical storms coupled with sunspot activity have led to the formation and subsequent discovery of a new chemical element, the heaviest yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take between four days and four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When irradiated with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
The great Windows / Linux debate
I recently renewed a hard drive on an early XP PC - and found to my dismay that the HP recovery disc didn't !
Options seemed to be either pay HP to send me a new disc or pay for a non-OEM copy of XP. Ever willing to try something new, I then got hold of an installation disc for UBUNTU Linux and installed same on my shiny new hard drive.
I love it ! It is clean and fresh and also of course appeals ever so slightly to the rebel in me that is usually ignored just because it is easier to roll over and let Microsoft tickle my tummy (for a price of course!).
Only one gripe - 'they' have to make it easier to install updates on programs that the built-in update manager doesn't recognise. I downloaded an update for GoogleEarth - so now what do I do with the .bin file that deposited itself on my desktop and where should I put it (steady now!) ? An hour or two on the UBUNU support forums left me frustrated and still unable to install my update. Why can't it be an executable file that I can double-click and which then magically takes over and self installs - defending me from the complexities that have kept UNIX a mystery for so long? Bill will keep a lot of customers until this process is as absolutely seamless across all areas as it generally is with Microsoft.
Bye Bye Porker
I've sold the Porsche. After a year, not a single stunning young thing threw herself at me - which goes to show that having a Porsche can't hide a (very slight) paunch and greying (just at the edges) hair. Don't believe all the adverts you see is all I can say.
Long Live the Male Menoporsche !
Radical Think Tank ?
Not 'that' kind of radical - just a bunch of people that - pardon the 'execuspeak' - will think outside the box.
Why can't we abandon car insurance altogether and add a couple of pennies onto fuel and build a national vehicle insurance fund ? Even those who steadfastly refuse to take out insurance have to buy fuel. Drive more, pay more - what's wrong with that ? Car tax too ! Why not ? Look at how much would be saved in administration, policing, enforcement and collection alone.
Of course there isn't a political party in the land with this kind of courage - it might upset the insurance companies.
Why can we not use simple technology to police our roads ?
I have Tracker fitted to my car. A GPS device that is activated if the car is stolen and which sends a signal to a control centre advising it's current location. Must have potential, surely ?
A chip in the engine manegement system that responds to a signal controlled from a Police car that cuts the maximum speed of any vehicle within 100 metres to 30mph. No more car chases.
Expand this, an internal monitor of speed that registers when you exceed the limit and sends an SMS message with your details to the Police as soon as your system registers that this is your third offence.
Trivial in terms of technology and it would be low cost. A warning light on the dashboard reminding us we're on our last warning would work as a deterrent for many !
Speed limiters like the ones used in the pit lane of Formula 1 races ? Fit them into roadside speed limit signs and hey, ho ! Prevention is better than cure. Ambulances, Police cars and Fire Engines could be immune.
Too much loss of revenue ? - back to the courage problem I feel !
Ships that sink in the night
Shame about that container ship that they had to cut in half. It probably means that the container load of indicator stalks from Munich will now never be delivered and an awful lot of BMW owners will have to continue driving without them.
Best ever "Letter to the Editor" ?
A woman recently wrote this 'Letter to the Editor' ....
Recently, large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that parliament is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the UK might actually want to protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and once here, make it harder (as an illegal immigrant) to stay indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests. Let’s say I break into your house. Then, when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, 'I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and done the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do.
I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your garden work) because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking-in part.
If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my illegal right to be there. It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do and I'm just trying to better myself.
I'm hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know. And what a deal it is for me! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker. Oh yeah and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me! English is too hard for me to learn. You should also allow me to vote - in my own language - since I live in your house!
What's a dilemma ?
I perhaps never really understood the true meaning of being "on the horns of a dilemma" until now ...
Should I go with my feeling of relief that Tony Blair is finally vacating No.10 and hopefully can do no more damage to this country - or should I go with the sense of fear I have of Gordon Brown insofar as in him, we've possibly not yet seen the worst of things ?
Buying a boat ?
You may know that I've just taken possession of my first boat - new to me but 6 years old - but goodness, there's a lot to come to terms with in joining this happy mariners world.
As a purchaser, I did some shopping around and thus introduced myself to the world of "The Broker". I'm obviously inexpert to say the least in marine broking matters, but apart from advertising the boat and conducting the odd tour to the pontoon berth where my soon-to-be pride and joy lay - I'm not really sure what they do. They obviously must have provided something to the vendor - as they certainly did nothing for me. Perhaps when that second happy day arrives (apparently that's the day I sell her!), I'll be enlightened - for a price I'm sure.
Even though she came out of a survey with a clean bill of health, I fully realised when I bought this nautical folly that minor work in respect of some servicing and inspection was wise and in addition to this was keen to have some new and obviously indispensable (honestly dear !) technology added to her. Thus started what I am sure will be a long and happy association with every chandlery I happen across - although 'she that shall be obeyed' says I'm not allowed to visit any more of them unsupervised unless I leave my credit card at home. I don't always understand what 'marine grade' means - but my wallet does.
I've learned that no work of any description can be started 'for at least a couple of weeks' (usually meaning three - conventional nautical understatement I gather, somewhat like one or two of the estimates I got) - leading me to conclude that there is a skills shortage of such monumental proportions in the marine engineering world that I should definitely be fixing them rather than buying them.
'Where shall I keep her' was next on my list of things to do. A marina was the obvious choice - the berth her prior owner had was available or I could move on to pastures new. Much easier to keep her where she was but I wasn't convinced enough to want to commit myself to a year right from the start - no problem, I can keep her on the berth on an ad hoc basis for a couple of months said the manager "but as you don't have an existing contract with us you'll have to pay the daily rate until you sign up". OK, not great (not to mention not cheap), but I do understand and accept the business logic behind it - but it would have been great if just one of the staff there had dealt with me with a smile. I decided to move.
The decision was not a difficult one really - a couple of visits to some of the alternatives and we moved Sea Fever to Haslar Marina and I have to say thus far I am very pleased - particularly with the staff there who are always so friendly and helpful it is a pleasure to part with my money.
Haslar is no cheaper, it is no more convenient - this was about nothing other than the way I - the customer - am treated.
Coastal erosion
I watched with concern a programme recently that highlighted the major erosion taking place at our beautiful chalk cliffs.
Then someone pointed out that it's effectively moving us, inch by inch, further away from France .... Not a total loss then !
Another stealth tax or just an outrageous 'grab' ?
I rarely get on a soapbox - but this one has got my blood up for sure ! If you are unlucky enough to find yourself with a fine and a few points for another minor motoring offence, read on - because it could cost you more than you thought !
The Government has introduced a £15 surcharge for persistent offenders. This fee will not go towards victims associated with the persistent crime, but a pot used mainly to appoint dozens of domestic violence counsellors to help bring alleged cases of abuse to court.
A motorist is an easy target to be labelled a persistent criminal, who could inadvertently clock up multiple offences in a very short distance or time frame due to speed camera proliferation and increased motoring offence legislation.
Any charges payable by motoring offences should directly support victims of motoring crimes, and improvements in road safety.
I support initiatives that help victims of crime and abuse, but oppose the penalisation of motorists when the perpetrators of those crimes should be the ones paying this Domestic Violence surcharge.
If you feel that this is an unfair levy with which to burden motorists further - please sign the E-petition on the Prime Minister's website by following the link below :
March 2007 holiday ....
We're just back from a great time - sailing again in the BVI. This time we took Darren with us, who turned out to be a pretty good sailor !
We visited all the places we didn't have time to get to the first time round.
Digital music
I finally made a start on putting my CD's onto the computer and I think it's a really good idea. I can make up temporary play lists with a few mouse clicks and change them as my mood changes. It beats swapping CD's in and out when you really only want to listen to two or three tracks from each.
I've gone the whole way now and have started getting some old LP's (unplayed for a decade or two !) onto the PC also. It's quite easy too - and gives you an excuse to listen to them again and do the whole nostalgia thing !
Remembrance day - 11/11/2006
I saw a picture of a memorial on TV this morning that's been built inside a British military base in Iraq. It's made from shell casings and has a plaque on it to mark the names of those people from the camp who've died in the conflict.
My lasting memory though is that the plaque has room for more names .......
Helping out on behalf of The British Legion, a number of Hungerford Rotarians spent some time this morning at Membury services selling poppies. We did well, thanks to the vast majority of people who found a few coins to drop in the box - so many thanks to you all who made this kind and much needed gesture.
The Talisman weekend
Spent a few days in October with Cliff and Andrew Poulter, Tony Harrison-Wallace and Charles Gibb on Cliff's new boat "Talisman". It's a Targa 31 and a lovely boat.
There's a picture in the gallery.
How many mid-life crises can a man have ?
Mary reckons I'm not having a mid life crisis because she believes I still haven't finished my second childhood ! Nevertheless, after tiring of my Audi TT, I now own a Porsche Boxster. Growing up slowly is great fun.
Mary passed her City & Guilds teacher training programme !
Clever girl she is ... whilst working at Newbury College as an IT instructor, Mary took a teacher training course in adult education and passed it with flying colours.
Letting loose on lose !
My current pet hate is people misusing loose and lose. As I said to one recent offender .... "The loose use of English like this could cause you to lose respect - you might then lose your friends and family and be on the loose with nothing more to lose - just a loose cannon, aimless. Don't lose the plot on this people - tighten up on the loose use of lose and loose !". I hope the message got across, and please - don't get me started on affect and effect.
Loyalty cards
How magnanimous our commercial enterprises are - giving money back to us for simply signing up to their loyalty scheme !
But look at these terms from the Nectar Card ...
Any information (including your name and address) that does not relate to specific goods or services that you buy (for example, the number of points you earn every month) may be used by us to analyse where and how you use your Nectar Card. We may also use that information, and share it with participating companies so they can use it to select and send you offers (which may include bonus offers) which we or they believe are likely to interest you. Participating companies may use and analyse that information to market their services to you outside the Nectar programme.
Worried ? - you probably should be !
Bombs and things.
People who do this have distanced themselves from society and no longer deserve it's protection. There should be no limits to their punishment. I include in this people who throw petrol bombs - as any calculated act designed to kill or maim in this way should put the perpetrator in the cross hairs of a police marksman. This is permissible crime prevention.
Adjectives.
We're running out of them. Sensational reporting and simple exaggeration so often result in the use of words with immense impact in situations where they are simply unjustified. Same problem with the F word - it used to have real impact in making a point because of its shock value - but what word will the next generation use when this one becomes an also-ran expletive just marginally less acceptable than "Fiddlesticks !" ?
